In
another week, 2017 will be half over. It is time for me to get it together. This
coming week I am going to come up with a list of goals to accomplish in the
next six months and this time I am going to stick to it. It used to work for
me, and I don’t know what I was thinking by losing all structure. So, you’ll
have to wait for the great reveal next Sunday.
In
the meantime, this past week, I did write 1,330 words on the new novel. I also
heard back on the poetry contest I entered. I did not win. I don’t know. I know
that poetry is not my area, but I think that it is one of those things which we
can use for cleansing and letting go.
The
theme for this contest was to write a poem about something which was an
irritant to you.
“When the Phone Is Still”
Favorite TV show on
Work clothes off
Feet up on the couch
Ring
“Hello, Mom, nothing’s new
here.
How about with you?”
Crawling into bed
Thunderstorm clap
Just want to fall asleep
to the rain
Ring
“Hello, Mom, I heard the
storm warnings.
Yes, we will be safe.”
Ring
“I’m not busy.
But we did just sit down
to eat.”
Ring
“What’s up?
I’m gonna be late for
work.”
TV show is over.
The phone hasn’t rung.
Dinner is eaten.
The phone hasn’t rung.
Lightning strikes nearby.
Still, the phone hasn’t
rung.
Still.
See
ya next week, with that list of goals!
 |
| Mom at Christmas in 1984, the year I had moved to Colorado. I bought her this trivet out there and mailed it to her, along with everyone else's presents. |
What a wonderful picture of your mom. Re those goals and progress, I sympathize. Maybe it's summer? Maybe our plate is smaller than those goals can accommodate? But focusing helps. Going through the priorities, setting weekly goals, and being accountable. And forgiving ourselves when we don't quite accomplish all we hope. Hug Dino the wonder dog, hubby, and kids. Not in that order! But hug yourself too and have a very good week.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Beth, for the support. And, yes, I've spent lots of time hugging the wonder dog. He's the best therapy there is.
DeleteThere's just so much in your life right now, Chris. Maybe not hitting those goals is your body and mind's way to keep you from overextending to the point of exhaustion. Maybe it's the time needed for grieving, adjusting - and healing.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing you wouldn't expect a patient who had just had major abdominal surgery to get down on the floor and give you a thousand one handed push ups...
But we can do that to ourselves.
I know, because, when our infant son died in 2003, I couldn't do much besides the very basics for months - and then I tried to force myself to do all manner of things, so that I could prove I was all right (but, really, how can a mother be all right if her baby lives only 12 days, and nearly all of that in a coma?).
Elijah would be fourteen on July 13 - and I'm still not all right with the fact that he died, and there was nothing I could do to help him.
I got pregnant again as soon as I could - our daughter is less than a year younger than the brother she never met...
I would not trade her - but I wasn't ready. Definitely not to make another person - the pregnancy was high-risk, and that sent my stress off the charts, because we were cautioned that she might not survive to be a viable birth.
And she was one before I really began to climb out of that deficit.
The point being that pushing yourself too hard, too fast, could have longer-lasting repercussions. I hope you can give yourself the time you need to adjust.
Shan, I'm so sorry for you loss. I don't know how any mother can get over the loss of a child. Thanks for sharing.
DeleteLove that photo of your Mom. Wow! Does Val ever look like her.
ReplyDelete