Time to be uncomfortable

 This is my first video. I need to work on this if I’m going to post any more of them. It’s just something I thought I should try.

I need to start by saying that posting a video of myself makes me very uncomfortable.  

For starters, I am very self-conscious of my looks, especially my teeth. I was born missing two of my front teeth and why I never got braces is another whole story which maybe I’ll share another time.

Because of my teeth though, I don’t smile very much and when I do, I don’t show my teeth. Because of that people don’t think I’m happy very often, which can work against me. It’s like picking up bad vibes around you which then puts you in a bad mood.  

The other thing I’m self-conscious of is the way I talk. I feel I have a speech impediment, thinking that I sound like Elmer Fudd when I say my r’s. Saying “wascally wabbit”.

And yet here I am posting this dreadful video, doing something that makes me feel uncomfortable. 

I don’t care who you are, there are things which make all of us feel uncomfortable, self-conscious.

One of the main characters in my latest book, “The Truth Beyond the River", has to do something she finds uncomfortable. She is a new reporter asked to go on assignment out of state for the first time. Even though this is what she went to school for, she is anxious and feels totally unprepared.

Here is an excerpt of her getting ready for that trip.

Teresa studied the humble assortment of clothes hanging in her closet. What to take with? How long will I be gone? Should I call my mother before I leave?

She grabbed a pair of jeans, two skirts, and three blouses and rolled them into her overnight bag. Toiletries and underclothes got piled on top.

“You got everything?” Harold asked as she left her bedroom and entered the sparsely furnished living room of her apartment.

“I think so.” She looked around the nearly empty room

“Here’s a map of Wisconsin.” He opened the map on her small dining table and began tracing the route she should take once she got out of Illinois. “You can make it to the border on your own, right?”

She nodded, though she had never been out of the city and hadn’t driven at all since moving there. The train station was only a few blocks from her apartment building, and there had been no need to go anywhere that wasn’t accessible by the city trains.

Before they had left the office, Teresa had gone over the information the secretary had given her, while Harold secured what she needed—a heavy manual typewriter, a tape recorder, a bulky 35 mm camera with a few rolls of film, even a company car.

“Now, you’re sure you know how to work everything?” he asked as he folded the map.

She nodded. How to use the equipment wasn’t what worried her. It was everything else.

“Here’s the phone number and the address for the local newspaper. It’s a tiny town, but they do have a paper, so I’m sure they can help you out. Send your report via Telex if they’ll let you.”

She nodded again, her heart racing. “I just hope I can do this.”

“You’ll be fine. Twenty-six-year-old girls a few years out of college don’t get chances like this very often.”

“I know. Thanks,” she answered dryly.

“It’s time you get going. You can drop me off at the office and head out from there.”

Her mouth had gone dry. “Harold, I can’t do this.” A tear formed in her eye.

He grabbed her by her shoulders. “This is what you’ve always wanted. What you’ve dreamed of. What every reporter dreams of. You can do this. You will do this. You will make me proud and make me happy that I took a chance on you.” He shook her slightly. “You will not let me down.”

She nodded. “Okay. I’ve got this. I can do it.”

“You have my number, right? If you can’t get me at the office, call my house collect any time, day or night.”

She steeled herself. “I won’t let you down.”

And off Teresa goes to report the story which could make her career. Or not. You’ll have to read the book in the meantime to find out. 

Oh, and by the way, the e-version of the book is available for free this week. So if you haven't gotten a copy yet, click on this link.