When I was a kid I was fascinated with picking my scabs. I would pull and prod and pick at any wound on my body (and since I was a tomboy, there was always a fresh wound somewhere), until it bled. Then when it scabbed over in a few days, I was right back at it. This is why I have so many scars on my arms, hands and legs. If I would have left all those minor abrasions alone, they would have healed without a mark.
And I haven’t changed much. Except now those wounds are psychological. Twice a day I go back to Amazon.com, type in my name and see the ugly number 2 next to my book, “The Early Life of Jesus in 40 Days”. And I stare at those two and a half stars in sunshine yellow and tell myself that I am a loser. Day after day after day.
Then, because no open wound is worth having without pouring salt in it, I check the ratings on my other two books. They have been holding their own, with much more yellow than white in their stars. But then Friday, lo and behold, “A Time for Every Purpose Under Heaven” had a new five star review. The funny thing is the person writing the review really appreciated the appendix about diseases in Africa. When my publisher suggested adding that information there instead of sprinkling it throughout the main body of the text, I was appalled. I didn’t want anyone thinking that I had written something academic.
Yet here was a reader who had gotten the most out of that part of the book. Don’t you hate it when those professional publishers know more about your manuscript than you do?
Anyway, it gave me the boost I needed. Maybe I will keep working on this writing thing. Maybe I will keeping submitting, keep promoting my books on social media. Maybe I will be able to rework my friend’s manuscript until it is presentable. Maybe something I wrote will make a difference in someone else’s life. Maybe. Just maybe.
My goals? Still not on track with that. I may have to just start fresh in the new Round next month.
How are you doing with your goals? Are you staying on task or have you wandered as well? Just remember there is always a new Round around the corner.
(Pictures courtesy of my clumsiness on vacation in Missouri last year.)