Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Throw me a Life Line (Warning: graphic subject matter)


I managed to finish chapter 30 in my novel and edited five more days in my devotional. I also have continued to document the demolition of the old hospital in our town. Over all, I should be feeling pretty good about things, but instead I have turned into a mud puddle.

The affliction I talked about last month has returned and has not abated as it should have. The physical ailment is not nearly as bad as the emotional one.

Ok my apologies to any males reading this, or any females who feel this is too delicate a subject. I am reminded of the New Testament story where a woman had a bleeding disorder for many years (Matthew 9:20). I know the Bible doesn’t say what kind of problem this was, but I am firmly convinced that she had menorrhagia, the medical term for heavy periods. I tell myself that if this happened to women two thousand years ago, why shouldn’t it happen now? But why should it happen to me? 

And at 52 years old, I also remember that women just a few generations ago were put in insane asylums when they went through menopause because their hormones made them so crazy that no one knew what to do with them.

I went for five months without a period, and was feeling pretty good that I was cruising into menopause without any of the hormonal roller coaster. I was even in such a good mood at work, that everyone was noticing and asking what was up.

Then, boom, the rug got pulled out from under me and the ovaries sought their revenge. Not only did they tell my uterus to be a jerk, they went straight to my brain and said "be a bitch".

So I made an appointment with my nurse practitioner for Friday. I know that she won’t have any instant cure for me, but maybe knowing that they are not sending me to the insane asylum will help. And I know there are some good drugs out there, I just hate the side effects and what they do to your body in the long run.


Sigh. Thanks for listening and I hope I haven’t offended anyone – no, I don’t really care. If we all have to watch all those commercials for erectile dysfunction, you can hear about my issues too. 

14 comments:

  1. Oh man, Chris. I watched my mother go through this, and suffered it from it myself for a few decades. You have my sympathy! It does get better, thank goodness! *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the support. It is so easy to let this kind of stuff get a person down and it doesn't help to feel like no one else knows what you're going through.

      Delete
  2. I feel you. I have Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome) which does a lot of different and varied crazy nutso things to those of us who have uteruses. In my case, I got diabetes and Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) which I like to describe as "PMS's crazy sister" because, well, that's what it feels like. I don't get cramps so much as I get the "be a bitch" feeling combined with feeling anxious about stupid things. My doctor put me on a generic form of Prozac which helps control the worst of the anxiousness -- I mean, I still feel anxious but it's easier to calm myself down when the weirder fears show up. Like, "Is that wall mad at me? No, Kathy, no it is not. It is a wall. Walls do not feel anger."

    Good luck with the nurse practitioner!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Kathy. Sounds like you have had it a lot worse than I have. But it's true that the psychological warfare is worse than the physical problems. Hang in there, and hope you continue to have control of your symptoms.

      Delete
  3. Hear hear about the the commercials! Your blog, your need to vent... all good with me. I'm glad you don't have the insane asylum preparing a bed for you. I'd too likely be your roommate in a few years....

    The best I can suggest? Something my mom likes to tell me "This too shall pass". It sucks now (I always had very heavy 8 day long periods like clockwork every full moon complete with a solid week plus of Crazy), but it will be gone and life will settle into a new pattern.

    And look at it this way... these experiences, in our modern times, give us a chance to discover things about other people and times (your note about the bible verses and the woman's bleeding for example) in ways that make those experiences come alive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the support. I look around at so many people who have it way worse than I do and am thankful that - as you say - this too shall pass. Some days, though, it is hard to keep plowing on, isn't it?

      Delete
  4. Chris, I will hope for good news from your nurse practitioner. I was told to avoid caffeine and did that hormone replacement therapy for a time which did alleviate symptoms (except the sweats, rather embarrassing at work). I can't imagine you being a bitchy person with your strong and positive connections to faith. Yes, it's difficult to persevere. I'm thinking of those walks you take around the town and your thoughts about change. Walking is supposed to be good for you (as is meditation). And change does come to us all. I'll send good thoughts your way. Persevere, friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Beth. I do think the hardest thing to handle is when my moods get so out of control. Being a crabby bitch really is not who I am. But I will survive, and be better for it. And thanks again for the support.

      Delete
  5. So sorry to hear about your struggles. Saying they're no fun at all would be a huge understatement. I don't know if these suggestions will work for you, but you may want to look into natural alternatives if you want to avoid the side effects of drugs. http://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/nutritional-remedy-for-heavy-periods/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the support and the website. I will check it out.

      Delete
  6. Sending you tentative, ignore them if they bug you hugs!

    I've been perimenopausal for the last few years. It is indeed a rollercoaster. My body has this new thing it's doing these last few months, where I'll spot for days, then, when I think that's all there's going to be- whammo! - extra long period!

    I used to be able to predict almost to the hour; not anymore. The migraines come at odd times, and I've got 48 hours of extremely low tolerance and patience (since I'm pretty even-keel and upbeat the rest of the time, it throws me for a loop every time.)

    I hope you've got some lifelines, now that you've been to your NP, and that they steer you in a more positive direction.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, I think that is the problem. For like nearly 40 years, I could count on when I would have moodiness, migraines and messes. Now, it is anybody's guess when any of this is going to happen. I think that is what has thrown me over the edge.

      Delete
  7. I just read this today, hope you are on the right path. I think I lucked out, no spotting, no hotflashes & the "bitch" in me is always present at least some people think so. Any time you want to get away you are welcomed to drive on down.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Denise, I know I can always count on you. I'm goin take it a day at a time and hope for the best.

      Delete